I would like to be like the disciplined Japanese and their customs. Your religion your lifestyle but where to start? I have 16 and another thing I need help as I do to stop biting my fingers and sometimes I also feel that I lose control of my actions and anger also I feel melancholic because I feel that nobody cared and I want to help me control and correct the negative points of my attitude
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You're in the "adolescence", as the word indicates it is a season that, despite being very beautiful is very complicated. However it is very good that you take an interest in growing up healthy, but don't be hard on yourself. It is important that you work with the self-esteem. Allow yourself to express your emotions, you try to find an activity that will help you to channel the anger, writing a journal can be a possibility, to play music ( or learn to do so, through youtube you can find many courses), the biting your fingers, on the basis of the data that you give, I gather that expresses anger towards any of your parents, or both, just because you feel you do not care. Probably care more than it seems, but do not know how to manage it. All we do in the measure of the level of consciousness that we have reached, it is not a matter of age, look at you with 16 years old you have the great initiative of wanting to better yourself as a person. Perhaps your parents have been "negligent" in some respects, but if they had not been as well you might not, you would be the person curious and eager to overcome challenges that you are right now. With respect to the self-help books, could not recommend any specific title, maybe one that talk about forgiving, I don't know if you've heard of hooponopono, a technique based on forgive. Then the biodescodificación, I think that would be ideal, since you like to read, I think that with biodescodificación in addition to find relief from you, it could be of interest to you as a profession, I recommend the videos of Fernando Sanchez, a Mexican expert in biodescodificación, so you can see a light that goes with the topic. The things that happen to us in and of themselves are neutral, we give them an emotional charge. Things that for you can have a lot of meaning, to another it may be indifferent because I experience it another way. Becoming aware of this you'll realize that it is finally in your hands how you choose to live things. You can be angry and resentful or choose to forgive and feel better yourself. It is not easy, it is a journey, but the sooner you walk the better will be your life, take advantage that you're young and prevents to accumulate a grudge, for yourself, not for others. I congratulate you for your desire to improve, not never lose, and you do not stop in the pursuit of your goals, the most important thing is how you cross the road, and you're better than you think. In the moments of anger you try to take a deep breath 3 times or more, and concentrate on your breathing, so you desvías of the emotion of anger. When you get serenarte a bit say to yourself: "this too shall pass". Remember that it is not easy, but when you're serene, it takes distance from the situation I try to change the point of view. Sometimes we cannot change things, but we can always change our feeling in regard to the same.
Life will be your school, but you can also build your individual reading which was written by the great writers, you'll find the answers to your questions, don't forget, however, that the answers may be multiple, you will have to choose the best answer that fits your circumstances. Don't recommend self-help books, the title is already misleading. How can help themselves someone looking for help? If you can autoayudar, to what to look for help? Therefore I recommend you to read the classics, literature and philosophy, basically. They knew how to discover the human soul, which is always the same in all times. The love, the friendship, the jealousy, the selfishness, the altruísmo, courage, cowardice, loyalty, jealousy... if you manage to understand all this and what you can read in your soul, you will begin to know you. Nosce te ipsum, know thyself, said the Greek philosopher. Also I recommend you to read books of history and science. You'll have a solid foundation to then form your own thought.
To control anger, you can't just pretend to control what is outside, the expression of the anger itself, but you have to control the inside, and precisely the opposite of the anger that is the love of truth. Don't live for yourself, but that you think do the most good of truth that you can with Your life. And before the specific events, not the look according to your interests (if Is antepusiesen to the well, would be in vain or out of order), but I recommend you see them Thinking of the good of truth from all involved, seeing them in this sense as A chance. All of course with the grace of God, and being in the grace of God, of course. In the prayer you can get for the purpose of always having the behavior more correct You can, and without losing sight of the goal of the good of truth, and this will force you To overcome interests in vain or out of order, both their own and others; this is not Please vainly to no-one, but that of doing good, which is different. Prayer and Confession can help much to start thinking about everything that you want to improve, and go to have force to do this.