The truth is that I'm almost 26 years old and I don't know what I want. I am working in therapy, I started very recently, but anyway I wanted opinions (yes, also I am a dependent). In the end, I studied Cinema from my 17 to my 20 years in the big city and I received, but I realized that I wanted to devote myself to that or not turned out as hoped, at least, I don't know what someone knows?. After I decided that my vocation is writing, I like it very much and I could devote myself to writing and proof-texts for my entire life, so I got into the university to study Letters, of course, the university is not as shown on the tv, and one is more alone than bad dog in the middle of a torrent of books. I got frustrated with the first one that went wrong and left the race. Then, as I live in a village, I decided to go back, forget about the city, and I enrolled in a small institute for teaching staff to continue studying Language and Literature, but obviously, I did not have in mind that I don't want to be a teacher, so I have to chew the pedagogical subjects that I do not like and that does not lead me to the path I want (do I want to?). The question is, what would be wrong or would it be very wrong to throw away all the crap and dedicate myself to writing in my free times, while I get a job that fairly I like to survive? Or do what most sane would be to go back to college? The truth is that I do not want to, nor cheer, (or time, because I feel old, real one) to sit at the study. No one compels me to anything, I alone charge of my own crosses, I know, but it is so difficult to make decisions. I'm fed up of having to take decisions.
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Everything that comes out of the normal: novelist, poet, painter... it is a great effort that you have to live and suffer in solitude, that doesn't remove anyone. A normal work is also effort, but unless the creative work. The effort of the working current only feeds you, the creative work there remains. Your mountains notepad full of stories, but don't remember, there remain. Therefore, the work creative is more satisfying than a job to survive (although it does not mean that one can be made in your work however humble that may be). Another factor in the passage of time, even if you feel old now, what you do in these times by very valiant it may seem, in 20 or 30 years, don't you remember. In my opinion, to re-do a previous study, within a time or notes.
I understand that accounts that you are going through a difficult time for you. It is true what they say that sometimes we take life decisions, such as choice of career, at an age in which we don't know that we want to more forward and that leave us marked for life. Many times we make the decision with a vague idea or a romantic idea of what things are, and then we find the reality of what things if you are. Sometimes we may be shocked for the good, sometimes you can't enjoy a lot of what we have chosen and to fill us with passion and sometimes we find that what we thought initially, or the field of action is very different to what we think or what we want. It also happens that with the passage of years, we realize that the choice we make is not what we want to do for the whole life. But beyond all this reflection, let me ask you: Do you have a conflict with yourself where on the one side you are planning to go back to school, but you do not feel like it, and on the other to look for a job which medium you like while you write your book? Do you feel unsure about yourself and what you want to do? Why would that be a job you moderately like, instead of a job that you are passionate about, that allows you to work out what you want and also give you time to write your book? Do you judge yourself for not having finished, for having left roll your career, when you now what you want is to write?